Hells Hollow (North Country Trail) to Breakneck Falls (Breakneck Falls Trail) and back, McConnells Mill State Park. [10/03/21]
This is part 1 of a 2-part story of getting back out there after developing some major fear of trail running because I ran into a mountain lion during another run, which was traumatizing.
My objective
This run was “time on my feet” in preparation for Oil Creek 100, which is on October, 16th-17th, 2021.
About the route
The trail run from the Hells Hollow parking lot to Breakneck Falls and back was a total of 13.20 mi
I ran this at a super easy-going pace 20:21 min/mi
Best mi 14:45
Ascent 2,011 ft
Descent 2,008 ft
The trail is technical, especially through the Slippery Rock Creek Gorge.
It is a beautiful area and is definitely a place to stop and take in the scenery and sounds of the creek.
Coping with anxiety, fear and a flighty nervous system while trail running
This run wasn’t quite what I expected, I was experiencing some posttraumatic stress symptoms (What I’m calling it. Never self-diagnose and be careful how you label yourself.) which got intense enough that I almost gave up on my run.
I guess my body isn’t as recovered as I thought from the mountain lion encounter back in June.
Read about the mountain lion encounter here, I was doing a Fastest Known Time (FKT) run. My post “To Hell & Back” run report video here.
I’m sharing this little journey that I’ve been going through over the past few months with you to just let you know that if you’re going through something, you are not alone.
Also, someone can help you.
This is not medical or mental health advice because I am not your therapist.
Professional disclaimer: I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Counseling, with well over a decade of experience working in the mental health field.
What my body was experiencing
- Racing heart
- Hands slightly trembling
- Jumpy at falling leaves and small critters rustling about.
- Hearing faint growling, but not noticing anything actually present.
- Imagining a mountain lion or bear, some times this was caused by seeing a log or shadow off in the distance before I my mind could make out what it was.
- Feeling paranoid. Occasionally, checking behind me to make sure I wasn’t being stalked by a mountain lion, sometimes I imagined the mountain lion coming up behind me.
- A large bird was startled in brush next to me, causing me to instinctively yell at it, my face became hot and tingled, my hands tingled, and my heart raced.
- I came across a few hundred black birds flying wildly from tree to tree and dive bombing towards the ground. It seemed odd, like something was off.
- You know how birds will stick together to protect a nest from a predator, this was what I was thinking. Of course, I was immediately looking for a predator.
- Stopping dead in my tracks, my arms and hands were shaking as I began examining the terrain for what was causing the birds behavior. No idea, I couldn’t find anything. I thought to myself, I’m about two miles away from the Jeep, I need to either get past these birds, or turn around and go all the way back to Eckert Bridge and call a ride.
- It was also getting dark, so it could possibly take longer if I turned back. I chose to continue towards the birds and the Jeep.
- I sang and talked to myself out loud, knowing that animals could hear me coming and can be scared off by the human voice.
- The last two miles seemed very long.
- A pile of Hawk feathers, meaning one might have been attacked by a predator, causing anxious thoughts.
- Strong odor of scat, causing anxious thoughts.
- Anxious thoughts catastrophized and made the situation seem worse.
- Avoiding trail running every once and a while due to anxiety or fear.
There was never any real danger, but in my mind, there was a threat of danger.
My mind can be anxious, I have a very active mind, that’s just how I am. I do try to be mindful not to label myself as an anxious person. It is healthier to say, “I am a person who experiences anxiety” or “I have a very active amygdala.”
My nervous system was shot by the end of the run, it seemed like the symptoms intensified over the course of the run. I was more tired mentally than physically, but I could sense feeling physical drainage from experiencing symptoms for a few hours.
Reflecting on everything, it was a positive run and I enjoyed getting out there.
All was good. I prayed for safety while driving to the trail, God kept me safe during this run.
I’m ready for Oil Creek 100. I did video a lot of this run, as it was helping me cope.
The YouTube video is interesting.
Things I filmed: waterfalls, the black birds, pile of Hawk feathers, crazy mushrooms, and falling on my butt (Yep, caught it on camera, it happened fast).
I hope that sharing this story with you helped in some way.
Please, if you’ve ever gone through something traumatic and are still affected by it in some way, consider talking with a licensed professional counselor, preferably, one that is a good fit and specializes in trauma.
It is helpful to gain an understanding on what the different types of trauma and stressors are and how you can foster healing.
Everyone reacts a little differently to traumatic and stress-related events, so if you’re reading this and have gone through something yourself, you may or may not relate.
Article on how to find the right mental health counselor.
Finding healing
Like I said earlier, this is not medical / mental health advice, but here are the ways that I have been proactively healing.
- Noticing my anxious thoughts and reframing them into more realistic ones.
- Steady, deep breathes
- Being in-tune with my body and try to develop understanding.
- Practicing mindfulness
- Self-care
- Reading trusted resources to learn more about trauma and stress-related events.
- Connecting with colleagues and getting resources from those who specialize in trauma and stress-related events.
- Hitting the trail, not avoiding them
- Sharing my story and experience with people I trust.
- Coping and distracting when appropriate (Like videoing the run made me feel safe and not alone.)
Healing has been a process, slower than I expected. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover, but that’s alright because I can continue to overcome it and anything else that comes my way.
By the way, you can continue to overcome anything, too.
Thank you for reading my story.
Here is part 2 if you care to learn more about how I continued to work on overcoming this: How I Overcame My Fear of Trail Running After Encountering a Cougar (Part 2)
Watch the YouTube video
Remember to “like” the video and subscribe to my channel, thanks!
Finish Stronger Mindset Coaching
Ultrarunner, if you are interested in working together on stepping up your mindset and mental wellness around racing and life, reach out to me.
I’d love to hear about your goals.
We will look at problem areas or where you’d like to see improvement, set a realistic goal, and then put those steps in place.
– I work with ultrarunners all over the United States who want to dial in their race mentality, mental strategies, and overall improve their mental wellness.
— My coaching services are fully on the mental side. This is a non-clinical service. I don’t provide assessments, diagnosis, or treatment.
[Disclaimer: I am a National Certified Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor in PA]
Here’s what we can work on:
- Improve day-to-day mental wellbeing.
- Build better habits.
- Incorporate mindfulness
- Learn emotion regulation strategies.
- Set challenging, yet attainable goals.
- Discuss motivation
- Address body image thoughts or concerns.
- Talk about you! Who are you, besides a runner or athlete? – parent, sibling,
- entrepreneur, community member… What else do you do, and how does it impact training for races or vice versa?
- Coping with injury and setbacks.
- Juggling priorities and time management.
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- Mental strategies and mindset for racing.
- Training and race day visualization.
- General worries and race day stressors.
- What might you do if you encounter a problem during a race.
- Building trust with yourself.
- Improving self-care, self-esteem, and self-compassion.
- Knowing when to push yourself and when to be kinder to yourself.
- Why’s and meaning behind what you do. Passion. Using that as support and drive.
- On top of talking, I do provide resources and homework.
Where’s the chair? I need to sit down! … I hope that this give you an idea of the good stuff that we can cover.
Contact me if you have questions or want to schedule.
Related content
How I Overcame My Fear of Trail Running After Encountering a Cougar (Part 2)
The Ultramarathon Mindset Podcast with Eric Deeter: Cougars, mantras, and swearing (2022)
Self-Care Assessment For Athletes
Athletes, what are you doing to support your mental health besides exercising?
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Shannon
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