How are you really doing?
Here is something we can work to be slightly more mindful of…
A common response when you ask someone how they are doing is “I’m okay.” Sometimes the reply is “I’m good.”
Have you ever thought about how many times this response is true? Is the person really doing okay?
Our response, “I’m okay” can also be automatic because we are used to just telling people that we are fine and move on to the next thing. We live in a fast paced society.
I hope that if something difficult is going on in your life and you need to let someone know, then you do.
It is not beneficial to try to bury it or ignore it. Taking that route could cause too many heavy thoughts or emotions to build up, becoming burdensome and overwhelming.
Common issues (just to name a few) from avoiding these things can include anxiety, depression, frustration, anger, and helplessness.
Reflect on your connections, network, friends, and family. Who might be able to help you? Who do you trust to try to help?
I’m guilty of telling people that I’m doing better than I actually am. It seems easier that way. Easier for myself and for the other person.
When it feels easier to lie to someone about how you’re really doing, or maybe you don’t want to burden the person, consider taking this approach… ask them if they can just listen. They don’t need to provide a solution. We underestimate the power of having someone listen to us.
If you asked me how I was doing on this particular day, my truthful answer is somewhat complicated. “I’m okay, but I’m not okay.” “I’m hanging in there.”
Yes, I’m doing okay, and also, no, what I’m going through is incredibly hard.
Some people think that you can’t be both “good” and “bad” at the same time. They are probably prone to think rigidly and in “all or nothing” patterns.
Wrapping this article up…
I’m feeling incredibly blessed and even have it all somewhat together right now, as I’m writing this. But I have persistent, heavy thoughts on my mind, with some being several months old. It’s like I’m waiting for a sign, or waiting for a prayer to be answered.
I have faith, and know that one day I’ll have an answer. I also know that it will work out the way it’s suppose to.
Other than the struggles, it was a perfect trail run. I love the heat. There is green everywhere with highlights of purple and white flowers speckled throughout. I had my Xero sandals on, just going with the flow of the Earth. Soaking in every minute of being alive.
The next time that you say you’re “doing okay,” think about it. Pause, and consider it in a curious, non-judgmental way. If you are really struggling, reach out and talk with someone. Put it out there and notice any benefits.
Today you could be standing next to someone who is trying not to fall apart. So whatever you do today, do it with kindness in your heart.
Unknown
Are you ready to take better care of your mental health?
If you are interested in working together on stepping up your mindset and mental wellness around racing and life, reach out to me.
I’d love to hear about your goals. We will look at problem areas or where you’d like to see improvement, set a realistic goal, and then put those steps in place.
– I work with ultrarunners all over the United States who want to dial in their race mentality, mental strategies, and overall improve their mental wellness.
— My coaching services are fully on the mental side (I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Counseling. I’ve been working in the mental health field for well over a decade. Coaching is a non-clinical service).
Here’s what we can work on:
- Improve day-to-day mental wellbeing.
- Build better habits.
- Incorporate mindfulness
- Learn emotion regulation strategies.
- Set challenging, yet attainable goals.
- Discuss motivation
- Address body image thoughts or concerns.
- Talk about you! Who are you, besides a runner or athlete? – parent, sibling,
- entrepreneur, community member… What else do you do, and how does it impact training for races or vice versa?
- Coping with injury and setbacks.
- Juggling priorities and time management.
- Are you actively trying to find a mental health professional? I can assist!
- Are you searching for a running coach? I can provide pointers on how to go about finding someone who’s a good fit and what questions to ask the coach when interviewing them for fit.
- Mental strategies and mindset for racing.
- Training and race day visualization.
- General worries and race day stressors.
- What might you do if you encounter a problem during a race.
- Building trust with yourself.
- Improving self-care, self-esteem, and self-compassion.
- Knowing when to push yourself and when to be kinder to yourself.
- Why’s and meaning behind what you do. Passion. Using that as support and drive.
- On top of talking, I do provide resources and homework.
Where’s the chair, I need to sit down?! … I hope that this give you an idea of the good stuff that we can cover.
Contact me if you have questions or want to schedule.
Related content
Self-Care Assessment for Athletes
The Parallels of Running and Running a Business
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Shannon